I've been struggling with some anxiety for the last several days that has melted itself into every imaginable area of my life and it's really, really ugly. I tend to get my heart wrapped tightly around things and when they don't go my way.... well, I get really uptight about it, as if God just slapped me across the face and turned His back on me. Obviously this is not the case, but I let myself feel that way sometimes when I don't see the results I was looking for as quickly as I wanted them to happen. I get things turned so backwards sometimes expecting God to work on my time table, according to my plan... instead of me working on His timetable and according to HIS plan.
So today I have been deeply reminded to PRAY. And pray hard. It's ok to want things and to want them badly. But I need to look at what I'm wanting and see if it's for me or for Him. And am I ok with not getting it.... even it if was for His glory? You see He might want something else for me. Something that might bring Him more glory. The thing I want might be just the thing God will use to shape me more into the image of Christ, or it might take something else. I need to be flexible. For now... I will pray, pour out my heart to God and let Him know my desires. Tell him how I think they will bring Him glory. And then let Him decide if they will.
Secondly, I will REST. I tend to take matters into my own hands and make a mess of things. I pray and take action immediately and end up doing all the wrong things. I frustrate my husband. I frustrate my kids. I frustrate my friends. Grrr.... who else can I frustrate today?! (Or am I just being too self focused THINKING that everyone is frustrated with me?!) Instead I need to take a minute to rest. Rest on a sovereign God who has all things in control. Rest that he has the days of my life planned out for me... and they result in a perfect end. Rest, trusting that He will provide for all the needs of my family. Rest in Him.
Thirdly, I will DO. Because action must take place. Praying does change things. And Resting in God's arms is vital so that I don't mess everything up. But Doing so SO vitally important. Because no matter how I feel, I need to continue to walk, to work, to live. No matter how down I am about whatever situation, I still have kids that need to be dressed and fed and who need to play and learn and grow. I have a husband who needs me to be his best friend and greatest cheerleader. We have to provide for our families. All of these things and so much more need to take place. Every. Single. Day.
So today I am Praying to my great God who is my rock, resting in His arms, and taking action to work toward the goals I've been praying so hard about, trusting Him with the results, whatever they may look like.