Since then, he has written me letters, sweet notes on our mirror, texts, and just used his words to my face. Sometimes I feel silly, because I just can't form such beautiful words back, not without a lot of thought at least, but his words.... they lift me to the clouds and make me feel... well like a chosen, beautiful princess for lack of a better term. Last night was one of those nights. We've had a mutual struggle lately that has been very frustrating for both of us. And as kind as he is in trying to share the responsibility for the mess, in reality we both know that it's mostly my fault. A few nights ago we watched I Bought a Zoo. What a lovely, sad story.... Afterwards we were lying in bed and started talking about when we fell in love with each other and how in love with each other we still are, but honestly the thought that kept running through my mind was 'how could he still love me when I've created this mess?' I think I cried myself to sleep on that thought, while he had no idea. I didn't want to ruin his beautiful moment. Horrible, I know. It's not all as bad as I make it seem, but sometimes it really feels that way. I can't wait to be on the other side of this.
Then last night we got started talking about this situation and I was languishing in my guilt for it when all of a sudden he grabbed my face and said 'You are mine.' We joke sometimes about how he fell in love with me first and it took me awhile, but I finally came around. The truth is he picked me and pursued me. I think that's the way it should work. He was persistent over the course of a few years and finally... I saw it. He loved me so deeply long before we were ever sitting there at Cheddar's. It took me awhile to realize how deep his love was, but I saw a glimpse of it at Cheddar's and I saw a much clearer picture of it last night, 9 years later. Even with our current situation he wanted me to know that he picked me, that I'm his girl, and he's not ever regretted it. True love.
It's often reminded me of the gospel. I've never done anything to deserve Christ's love, yet he has chosen me to be his bride. Marred as I am by sin, he will make me more and more beautiful, more and more like himself, so that someday He can completely glorify me in his presence. Now my DH isn't perfect... but in our marriage he represents Christ (Ephesians 5) and just as Christ chose me, Chris chose me as well and has pursued me with his love. It's a wonderful love story that I get to live out, both with my husband and ultimately with my savior Jesus Christ. Because they both say 'You are Mine' and nothing thrills my heart more.
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. In love he predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace, with which he has blessed us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of his will, according to his purpose, which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.
In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory. In him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of his glory.
(Ephesians 1:3-14 ESV)