Wednesday, September 11, 2013

In Tenderness

I've been listening to this song for the last month, but Wednesday morning as I rounded the first corner on my morning run the truths it teaches hit me fresh and I almost broke into thankful tears.

Let me share the lyrics first:

In tenderness he sought me
Weary and sick with sin
And on his shoulders brought me
Back to his fold again

While angels in his presence sang
Until the courts of heaven rang

Oh, the love that sought me!
Oh, the blood that bought me!
Oh, the grace that brought me to the fold of God
Grace that brought me to the fold of God

He died for me while I was sinning
Needy and poor and blind
He whispered to assure me,
“I've found thee, thou art mine”

I'd never heard a sweeter voice
It made my aching heart rejoice

Upon his grace I’ll daily ponder
And sing anew his praise
With all adoring wonder
His blessings I retrace

It seems as if eternal days
Are far too short to sing his praise!


from Already / Not Yet, track released May 8, 2012

As I was rounding the corner that morning I was flooded with memories of this summer and the struggle I had internally with God. I struggled to trust Him, to believe that He was good to me, that He had good things for me. I'd never felt like that before and it surprised me and annoyed me. But...

'In tenderness he sought me, weary and sick with sin, and on his shoulders brought me, back to his fold again.' 

It was so sweet to consider that he didn't just seek me out on the day he saved me, but that even in my continuing struggle he'd brought me back. When I was just plain weary and struggling with the sin of doubt, he lifted me back up and brought me home, back to his fold. Back to complete faith and trust in Him. 
In my day of greatest need, when I was destitute in sin, he reached down and found me, claiming me as his own. And now He whispers to me every day, 'I've found you. You are mine.' Have you ever heard more beautiful words? I can't speak for the guys around me, but as a girl it seems that for most of us, this is our greatest longing, to BE somebody's. We try to find it in guys, in friendships, from our parents, etc. etc. And then some of us fight against it, trying so hard to be independent and on our own, completely self sufficient. But God reaches down and claims us. He puts his mark on us through the death defying power of His son and makes us His. No other relationship can ever provide the satisfaction for me that being God's provides. So I no longer have to expect my husband, or my kids, or me parents, or friends to make me feel wanted. I am God's. Nothing else is really all that important. I am His. And my heart rejoices in this over and over again. 

And therein lies my only power for day to day living. It makes me sing with this song: 
Upon his grace I’ll daily ponder , And sing anew his praise , With all adoring wonder , His blessings I retrace 

What a joy to have observed in my own life, not only the power of the gospel for my salvation, but the power of the gospel and the love of God even post salvation to keep me as his own and to restore genuine, full faith in Him. His love will never let me go. I'm His. 

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