Ok... I'm still SOOO way behind on blogging about everything... I believe I'm a whole chapter behind. But I don't want to lose this one in the shuffle. I don't know that I'll go back to all the others.... So here we land. Ephesians 5:3--But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you as is proper among saints.
Purity has been a big deal to me for a long time. Not that I'm perfect at it... far from it. I've struggled in multiple ways too. Just to briefly share my 'story' concerning purity I'll start in my teen years. I went to a pretty conservative, cuollot (how do you even spell that?!) wearing, non 'rock' music listening, KJV only type of church growing up. Despite those things, it really was a good church that loved the Lord, it was just a bit hung up on a few of those things. We went to a camp that also taught the same way and I remember one speaker sharing several times how that he and his wife didn't kiss until their wedding. Now coming from the source it came from, I thought the guy was nuts! At this point I think I was probably in Jr. High. I had had one 'boyfriend' in elementary school and hadn't dated since.... so I was kissless.
In early high school I got hooked on a book series called the "Christy Miller Series" by Robin Jones Gunn. In it there is a Christian couple that had chosen not to kiss until their wedding day. Same information, new source. I made the same commitment. I was a little older and wiser... probably 9th grade and still kissless. I knew that I desired to honor God and stay pure and I saw that as the ultimate act of purity. I wouldn't even venture into the arena of sex. Looking back, that was the best decision of my life! Not that it kept me from every bit of sin, but wow, did it protect me from a lot.
Over the years I watched my Christian friends date, and I knew that many if not all of them were 'making out.' I really didn't think a whole lot about it being sinful, but I was glad that I wasn't doing it. I knew my heart and I knew that I'd desire more than just a kiss or even kissing if I went there, so I was glad to stay away. It was protection from at least the physical sin. It was kind of a big deal at my high school too. I was the girl that wouldn't kiss. Then I went to Bible College and it was just as much of a novelty, which looking back breaks my heart. Purity at a Bible college should be the norm, not the exception. Sadly, I fear that it was very much an exception, at least among my peer group. I was still labeled the girl that didn't kiss and even had one guy date me with bets as to how long it would take him to get me to kiss him! Praise the Lord that I never did and he eventually moved on to someone that would.
Then, after 6 years of college and grad school at the ripe old age of 23, I got married and got my first kiss (with many to follow!!). I've NEVER regretted that decision. More than anything else I chose to do in my life, I'm so thankful for that one. After I got married I started reading more about purity and studying it from a Biblical perspective and realized that while I didn't understand the heart motives behind my decision at the time, it protected me so much from sin. And don't get me wrong I struggled. I wanted to be kissed. I craved attention from guys, among other sinful desires of my heart, but I'm quite sure that it would have been much worse had I been making out with a guy through all of that.
Why I'm sharing all of this I don't know except that this passage calls believers to another standard. Sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness should not be a part of our lives. When I teach unmarried girls about purity I ask them to think through kissing and making out with a guy that's not their husband... are we being 'holy' at that time as 1 Thess calls us to be? I can't fathom it! So why do we think it's ok as long as we're not having 'sex'? Would you want your married husband kissing another girl? No! So why do we do it before we're married? I don't get it. Where did we get that idea? I'm not going into much detail here and I hope I'm not sounding harsh, but somewhere along the line we aren't getting taught well in this area and it's causing so many brothers and sisters in Christ to stumble before marriage leading them to more struggles after marriage when God calls us to purity.