It's Friday Friends!

I'm still stuck in October.... my brain doesn't want to admit that my favorite month of the year is over. You think I'm kindding. Luckily so far, November is looking a lot like October, with some beautiful color left in the trees and perfect temps!

I didn't get my Friday post up last week, so I'll back track a bit today to fill in.....


1. For the last 10 years our church, Sonrise Baptist Church, has hosted a wonderful Fall Festival for our community. It's a great opportunity to serve and love the people around us with fun and games... and my yummy cookies! This year Pinterest inspired a few spiders, very fall like. 

We had our own little Hulk in the house this year. He has the Rooooaaaarrrr down pat! 

And our little Repunzel loved being all dressed up. 

                    

     

2. This happened. God's creativity on full display. The colors were magnificent! 

3. We dressed up again for Halloween and I managed to rig up a the little crown that came with her new Repunzel baby so she could wear it. She might really think she is a princess now. We don't normally emphasize the whole princess thing (even though we may secretly consider her our princess.... we don't appreciate the haughty spirit that often comes with reinforcing it for little girls, so we try to stay away from it with her so as not to contradict the humility we try to teach her.) 

                    

4.    Chris took the kids to a local park and let the kids run around happily. 

5.    Right after the above photo this happened. His first little bee sting. Poor guy. Fortunately he had little reaction and is fine now. 

That's pretty much been our last couple of weeks. We've had some fun! 

God has been good during this season of life that's different than usual. It's astounding to me how God shapes and molds us through his Word and through circumstances. Disappointments, opportunities, the good, the bad, the patience testing, the joy.... God is at work through it all. And while I'm really, really excited to see what God has for us in the next season of life, I don't want to miss what's happening in the here and now. Because he's just as much at work today as he will be tomorrow. 

What's been going on for you? What is God using in your life?! 

                                                           

Miley Cyrus, Modesty, and How We Teach our Teenage Girls Wrong

I've been listening to all this chatter over the last couple of days about Miley and there have been some good things said about it all, like Trevin Wax's I Weep for Miley. This development and just the season of the year (Summertime!) has led to a lot of discussion over the last several months about modesty, some of which has been good, but some of which has me weeping.

I've heard LOTS of things about modesty over the years. I grew up in a pretty conservative church culture. The kind where girls only wore skirts or culottes. My sister wouldn't go to youth activities because she always got talked to about her jeans (not that they rode too low or were too tight or anything... just the fact that she was wearing them). I never quite got some of the rules that were put in place for us girls. Because, for instance, the culottes showed more leg than my pants did on the volleyball court (we seemed to play volleyball a lot). But it was what it was, and I know that our church leadership was trying to help us to live out this whole modesty thing, because what we wear is important. It was just done in a way that I didn't understand.

We've moved forward from the whole culotte fiasco I think (although I looked good in a pair of mean teal polk-a-dot culottes with a matching scrunchie), but modesty is still a very hot topic and the sexuality of women is talked about more and more. And here comes Miley, the sweet little Hannah Montana Disney character (which I honestly never saw much of, maybe 2 episodes). I only knew of her from afar. I watched about 10 seconds of her performance Sunday night and was just kind of bewildered. I don't know why anyone would want to move like that in public. And it has erupted all sorts of reactions. One in particular that I watched was especially heartbreaking to me. The conversation in this pastoral response video quickly moved from Miley to just general modesty for women, young women in particular, and while I appreciate the video's desire to teach young women about modesty from a pastor's perspective (a much needed topic of discussion for women), here is my humble opinion of what was lacking within in this video, and often times is lacking in discussions about modesty.


I've heard mentioned over and over again in my life when taught on this subject that how you dress will determine what you attract. And the guys that are attracted to immodesty will eventually throw you to the curb. The guys who are attracted to a modest girl recognize the prize, the princess that they have. The particular conversation within this video that I heard recently compared girls to cars. The immodest girl is like a Ford Ranger, he said. She's normal and common. She has to advertise to attract. Everyone has a truck like that because it's common. Whereas a modest girl is a Rolls Royce. She's valuable and priceless and will withstand the test of time. So if you want to be classy, or one of a kind, a rolls royce if you will, be modest.

This comparison broke my heart for a few reasons:

1. While there is a certain level of truth that the way you present yourself will attract a certain type of guy, there is no absolute to this. Please don't make implied promises to impressionable young girls that tug at their heartstrings. Most girls deeply crave the attention of a man, and most want one who will be faithful to her (despite what many will say). Making the kind of guy you're gonna end up with the motivation of modestly, puts that motivation in the wrong place. I've watched too many girls grow up thinking that if they act a certain way and dress a certain way they're sure to get a certain kind of guy. And some of them end up alone, or some of them end up being cheated on. And they are left with heartbreak, because the driving motivation behind what they had been doing all those years was selfish and their hearts didn't get what they had been (perhaps subtly) promised.

2. Please don't ever compare a girl to a car again. It only adds fuel to the fire of young men viewing women as objects, especially in the case with a car.... something that most guys love, and love to use and abuse! I am not a Ford Ranger (a pickup truck?!). I am not a Rolls Royce either. Neither of these are made in the image of our God, as all women are (and men are for that matter). I realize that this was just an analogy that this pastor used, but it lacked much when it came to viewing God's women as the children of God that they are.

3. Further, and perhaps most important, this comparison and the way it was made (and the way I've heard it made for so much of my life at youth camps and such) doesn't point young women to the gospel, it doesn't point them to Jesus, it simply plays at the idols of their heart, mainly the desire to 'stand out.' As women this desire is played on everywhere and our clothing is one of the main ways in which women attempt to stand out from the crowd. Different methods are used, varying styles of clothing and hair, different personalities, different sins even, but the root issue at stake behind all of it is the desire for glory for self. But God is the one who deserves ALL of the glory. When I get dressed in the morning it should never be to 'stand out.' My clothes shouldn't draw attention to me, they should be a reflection of my walk with my savior. And to encourage women and girls to be modest for the purposes of standing out, is only asking them to dress in more covering clothing for the sin of seeking personal attention.... the very same sin they were committing (more often than not) when they were choosing to dress in less clothing.

It's just exchanging a sin for a sin, not pointing our girls to Jesus.

The answer to the clothing debate isn't exactly simple, and there are not hard and fast rules, but the root of it is simple. Girls, immerse your heart in Jesus and want nothing more than him. If we're dressing to draw attention to ourselves in any way we're dressing selfishly, and sinfully, no matter how modest your outfit might be. But if we're dressing for God's glory, we will be mindful of others and not seek to draw attention to our bodies, but rather our sweet spirits that are a reflection of our Savior will draw attention to God.

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear—but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. (1 Peter 3:3-4, ESV)

Trials and Tests of Faith... and Our Upcoming Ladies' Conference

And the hits keep coming.... that's what today feels like. Life has been good, just busy as of late, and I've let the blogging thing go a bit, because I just needed to focus on a few other very important things like my family, my work, and our upcoming ladies' conference at Sonrise Baptist Church. The Renew Refresh Ladies' Conference is one of my favorite events every year. I was part of the group of girls that went to our pastors and asked them if we could start it, and I've had the privledge of helping to plan it every year since, and for the last few years being the 'head' person in charge of the planning. I love women. I love the Bible. I love God. I love seeing women love the Bible and God. It just makes sense. This year, our pastors asked me to be the speaker on top of that and I happily agreed for all the reasons listed above. But then God saw fit to have a whole new set of responsibilites thrown on me that occupied much of my time for the last four months. It's really only been in the last two weeks that things have slowed down. Then this week happened.

My foot has been aching for the last few weeks. No big deal. The Tuesday night I got home and it was swollen. Wednesday it hurt a big more. Today it's still slightly swollen and still hurts a bit more. I'm debating on going to the doctor but I really can't forsee a cast or anything resembling a cast being at all convenient for the next few weeks. (We are T-22 days from the confernce.) I might foolishly wait it out and see if it gets worse.

Then last night happened. My computer crashed. With. All. My. Ladies. Conference. Stuff. On. It. Yes, you heard me right... and I didn't have it backed up. Never in a million years did I dream that my less than a year old MacBook would give up the ghost on me. So today, I'm waiting to hear from the computer doctors how my baby is doing and what files I might be able to get off of her. And wondering if I'm gonna have to start from scratch on my lessons. My heart is hurting a bit and I'm wondering what other curve balls God will throw my way over the next few weeks. Please no more :)

But, I'm reminded that my God is faithful. That this is all part of the shaping and molding process. That rain or shine 22 days are gonna go by quickly and I had better get back to work. So...... here I go. Ladies' I hope that if you're in the area that you'll come. It's going to be fun, and I hope encouraging. And apparently I'll have some good stories to tell of the process in getting there!

Sermon on the Mount/Respectable Sins

At church this fall we are working through Jerry Bridges' Respectable Sins. Simultaneously I've started a new Bible study working through the Sermon on the Mount by Jen Wilkin. Both have been rather encouraging, or perhaps discouraging, depending on your vantage point.  I'm not really very far into either, chapter 7 in Bridge's work and somewhere in Week 3 in Wilkin's. But I've been very convicted through both of them about my lack of a conscious dependence on the Holy Spirit to work in and through my life. Not so much that I don't think he does, because I know He does. But more, my awareness of it, and my daily dependence on Him for strength and acknowledging that fact.

I'll ask you some questions that I've been asking myself lately.

Are you Poor in Spirit? To be poor in spirit is to recognize that just as a person who lives in poverty does not have sufficient resources to care for themselves, you too, do not have sufficient resources. Only in this case, it's spiritual resources. None of us has the resources to function spiritually, to be fed and nourished, to thrive on our own. But understanding and acknowledging that fact as very important. Because Matthew 5:3 says that 'Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs in the kingdom of heaven.' I'll rephrase that for you. Blessed are those who recognize that they aren't enough, that they can't thrive spiritually on their own, for God's resources are at their disposal. As I pray on my way to work every day that thought has been going through my mind and it is SUCH an encouragement. I'm pretty sure that I've been living in my own strength lately. Trying to change on my own at some level. But just admitting that I'm not enough is so freeing, and Jesus himself here makes it very important because the reward for acknowledging my spiritual poverty is God's Kingdom, all of His resources! It frees us because it makes it about Him. Not that we don't have to try, because we do. We have to put forth the effort, working out our salvation. But I know that my God is working at changing you and me, so our effort will reap an eternal reward, because God will continue our work and finish it!

Do you Mourn your sin? I've been thinking this through as I go through Bridge's book, analyzing my life and looking for those respectable sins that I so often overlook. Am I even sorry for them? Or do they just get brushed off as 'common to man.' We should be mourning our sin, because that sorrow leads to the greatest comfort possible.... in the gospel! Matthew 5:4 says 'Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.' This is specifically referring to mourning our sin and there is no greater comfort than the one who redeemed me. His shed blood for our sins can be our comfort. The fact that he crushed sin and death can be our comfort.

Do you hunger and thirst for righteousness, or are you more eager for something else? This for me really relates back to the whole poor in spirit concept of recognizing my need. Because when we realize how poor we are, that we indeed are in spiritual poverty on our own, we will hunger and thirst after Godly, right things. We will crave them. And this can affect so much of our lives, our priority at spending time in the word and in prayer, our entertainment choices, our friendships, the way we communicate with those around us. Wow.

Acceptable Speech

I've been thinking a lot over the last few days about my speech and communication with others. It started with a book our church family has been reading in small groups. Truth be told, I dreaded reading this book. I was bored by the last book we read by this author. But even more so, I dreaded the topic. Love. 1 Corinthians 13 love at that! I dreaded it, not because I think I know all about it, but because I know that this is an area of weakness for me and I just didn't want to work on it right now! Not that I don't want to be loving, please don't misunderstand me. But because I didn't necessarily want to feel guilty for not becoming any more loving than I already am.  This is an area that I often feel so deficient. 'Creative' loving is something that is emphasized heavily at our church, and for good Biblical reason. But I am just not a 'creative' person. 'Crafts' have never been my thing. I am capable of making pretty things, but I don't come up with the ideas for them myself. I can follow a tutorial (of which I have found SO many on Pinterst lately! It's fantastic!!) But the creativity, the going out of my way... I just didn't want to have to grow in this area. Wow... honesty at it's best, right?!

This book (have I mentioned it's name? Maximum Impact by Wayne Mack) has not challenged me to make more crafts for others (refreshingly so!). It has, however, helped me get a better picture in my brain of what true love looks like, and what it does not look like. And perhaps it didn't quite look like the picture in my head I've been beating myself up over for the last 4 years (sign of relief!). It does however require change on my part, and my speech is one area that I've been really challenged to consider. I believe it was in the chapter discussing 'Love is not rude' where he talks so much about our speech and how we talk to others. The Holy Spirit convicted me of three areas of my life in which I struggle... on the phone (I'm just an akward phone talker!), when I'm giving instructions to my kids, and when I'm communicating with someone of a differing viewpoint (perhaps an unbeliever, or someone who takes a largely different stance on an important issue). I want to be a good communicator and to communicate truth in loving ways so that my words are easy to hear and hopefully to take to heart. So here are some ways I want to make some changes. Perhaps these are areas others struggle in as well and my application can help you out too.

On the phone: I often cut people off and speak in short sentences.  I don't mean to. I think I'm just too busy trying to get my own words out. I also have a short tone of voice on the phone. I need to converse as I would in person and let others finish their thoughts before I start speaking. Perhaps even wait for a long enough pause so that I am sure they have completed their thought. Often I get off the phone just feeling akward. I need to be patient and listen to others better before I speak.

With my kids: This is a big one. I was reminded of two scriptures from Proverbs as I thought about this. My son is 2 1/2 and really struggles to hear instruction from mom and dad lately. I want to help him in this by putting these two verses into practice. 15:2 says 'The tongue of the wise makes knowledge acceptable' and 16:21 says 'Sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness'. My temptation with the kids is to grow firm instead of sweet. But how much better do they listen to my sweet voice? Sweetness can help make knowledge acceptable for them. Speak kindly, Abbie! Make learning fun!

With those who oppose me: I get easily frustrated with those who think differently than me and can tend to avoid conversations that go in those directions. Of course that depends a lot on that other person, how defensive they are, etc. But I want to be good, particularly at sharing the gospel with those who don't believe it. It's the power of the gospel that saves! I need to be patient and calm and pay attention to those who are good at sharing it to pick up things that I can incorporate. Something else that Mack mentioned was speaking with humility, as a learner. This seems to be important particularly in this context. I want to speak sweetly, kindly, confident in the gospel, but with humility as a learner.

I want to have acceptable speech that is full of love, is not rude, and is easy for others to hear. Then perhaps God can use me to teach others His word.

Worship Thoughts

Chris and I had an interesting conversation the other day that I wanted to put down on paper (or into the blog world I guess!). He met a guy who attends another church in town. In the course of their conversation this guy very openly stated that he attends this other church only for the 'worship.' This statement got us both to thinking about what he was referring to and whether or not this is a very Biblical reason to attend any one church.

By 'worship' we were pretty sure this individual was referring to the music. Musical worship is a part of most religious services, no matter what faith they represent. For Christians though, probably particularly evangelical Christians, it seems that music has become of great importance and this guy's statement reflected that, and saddened us. Chris and I see in God's Word that the ultimate act of worship for the Christian is obedience to God's Word, which comes from a careful study of God's Word, which is highly helped by listening to good teaching from God's Word.... thus in our church service the most important part of the service is the teaching and application of God's Word, not necessarily the singing. Now please, don't misunderstand me, musical worship is an important part of our services and it's important enough in God's Word that the whole books of Psalms is a book of songs of worship toward our God, BUT it's just a part of the Bible, and not necessarily the most important part.

This whole mentatily of 'worship' being of such importance to some Christians is concerning to me on a few levels:

1. I think that for some people singing brings about an enjoyable emotion and is some kind of an emotional 'high' if you will. Singing powerful songs with hundereds or thousands of other people is fun, it's one reason why people attend concerts. But musical worship shouldn't even be for us. It's for Him.

2. I think that for some, singing worship songs replaces fighting sin in their lives. By this I simply mean that possibly the emotions that come about from singing praises to our God make some Christians feel like they've done their weekly Christian duty and it makes them feel just good enough so that they don't have to do the hard work of being a Christian, growing in righteousness. So they walk out of their weekly church service unchanged by the power of God's Word.

3. It seems to me that we are demonstrating our love of our Savior on a much deeper level when we hear God's Word and obey it and with that will come some songs of praise out of our hearts! It's a natural overflow!

Please don't get me wrong. I love good 'worship' music and I enjoy hearing and participating with it often! But it should never be our driving motivation to attend church. We should go to church to hear God's Word taught, so that we can apply it to our lives, fight our personal sin, and grow to be more and more like our savior. When we do that we'll sing out of a pure heart!